During the past few months since Steve’s diagnosis, I have been through every emotion you can imagine…shock, fear, sadness, anxiety, but ultimately peace.
Shortly after getting the news of Steve’s stage 4 cancer, a church friend gave me a beautiful, brown leather notebook to use for doctor’s notes, questions, and important information that I would need to remember. However, as I now look back on that notebook, what stands out are how many Bible verses I have written in it. I learned from a Bible writing project that I started a few years ago, how much value there is in writing the Word of God in my own hand. You can read more about that here.
The first weekend after arriving in Texas, where Steve was to see an oncologist at MD Anderson, I had to call 9-1-1 for an ambulance. For the first time ever, Steve began having such extreme pain, that he could barely speak. Nothing like this had never happened before and I was terrified. After many tests, he was sent back home (to our hosts house). The following day when the pain was still uncontrolled, we took him to MD Anderson’s emergency room, where I could not be with him (due to Covid). There, they admitted him overnight. An image I will never forget is dropping him off at the ER and seeing him being taken away in a wheelchair. I was completely overwhelmed, frightened, and nearly 1000 miles away from home.
Later that evening, I had a complete meltdown. My fear, anxiety, and loneliness for my husband, were crushing me. I was continually praying about the situation, but I needed something more. I poured out my fears to the Lord, but then I remembered the value of not only “talking” with Him, but “listening” to Him.
That night, I began writing verses in my notebook that I wanted to meditate upon, rather than being overtaken with all my emotions. At times of crisis when we do not know where to turn or what will happen, it is easy for our fears to lead us to anxiety, doubts, and despair. I have been in that pit and recognize it when it comes. What I found is that I do not have to stay there! I can find hope and comfort in my situation which ultimately leads to peace of mind and contentment.
In times of trouble, I know I am not alone and do not need to be afraid.
Isaiah 41:10-“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Psalm 34:4-“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”
Psalm 94:19-“In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.”
Hebrews 13:6-“The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”
I serve a God who has ALL knowledge of what I need and ALL power to shape events in my life.
Ephesians 3:20-21-“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever.”
Philippians 4:19-“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”
Jeremiah 32:27– “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?”
I serve a God who will take care of me because I belong to Him.
Nahum 1:7-“The Lord is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble; And He knows those who trust in Him.”
Psalm 34:15-“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry.”
Psalm 34:17-18-“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
God is my only source of strength during this difficult time. I just need to come to Him with my requests.
Philippians 4:6-“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”
Hebrews 4:16-“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Because I have sought the Lord, He has given me peace.
Psalm 28:7-“The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; therefore, my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.”
Psalm 27:13-14-“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!”
Philippians 4:7-“The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
If we live long enough, we will all face life’s difficulties, fears, loneliness, or challenges. As a child of God, we have assurance that we serve a God who is with us throughout it all, who has the knowledge and power to shape events (according to His will), who listens to our prayers, and who gives us a peace that those outside of Him do not have.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).”